87 FUNNY phrases to post in the statuses and make everyone laugh
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87 FUNNY phrases to post in the statuses and make everyone laugh
Sometimes, funny is all we need to relax. How about starting to amuse your friends and followers through your daily statuses?
You can use your social media statuses to amuse and excite your followers and friends. Start the day by taking a smile from a person.
With that in mind, we’ve selected a great list of funny phrases to post in statuses. Take this opportunity to make everyone laugh a little.
Matter to you?
87 Funny Phrases for Status
Check out a great list of phrases for you to publish in your Statuses social media and make your friends and followers laugh.
I just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
I would lose weight, but I hate to lose it.
I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I just lie to others!
I wish I could silence people in real life.
I’m not looking for problems. Problems usually find me.
Dear Problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
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Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real revelation.
You can never buy love, but you still have to pay for it.
Funny Phrases to Post in Statuses
Make people’s day even more fun with these funny phrases for status. Post a funny joke daily and be the fun of your friends.
I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
I really want to work hard. But being lazy is a lot of fun.
If I won the prize for laziness, I would send someone to fetch it for me.
I’m not lazy, I’m in energy saving mode.
I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
I’m not lazy, just very relaxed.
I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
Sloth is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we must respect her!
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Funny Phrases to Post in Statuses
Take advantage of this opportunity and make the day of your friends and followers happier. use these funny phrases and enjoy your status.
Shopping is an art. I’m an artist. Respect, please.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I just love my job when I’m on vacation.
I always arrive at the office late, but I make up for it by leaving early.
3 prettier words for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today.
Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
Behind every big man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Man is the head, but woman is the neck. And she can turn her head however she likes.
You can be right or you can be the husband.
In my house I am the boss, my wife is just the one who makes the decisions.
Funny Phrases for Facebook Status
Check out more fun and funny Status for you to post on your Facebook. Liven up the day of your friends and followers with these phrases.
Women’s Apologies: Sorry, but it was your fault.
Yes, of course I’m athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
This morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
I want someone to give me a loan and then leave me alone.
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
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I always dreamed of being a millionaire like my uncle! He is also dreaming.
Talking to myself because I’m my own consultant.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
I don’t need a hairdresser, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Funny Phrases for WhatsApp Status
use these fun phrases to post in your status on WhatsApp. Be sure to show your funny side to your contacts. Enjoy!
I swear my pillow could be a hairdresser. I always wake up with the weirdest hairstyles.
I’m not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
The hardest thing I ever tried was to be normal.
Out of my mind. I’ll be back in five minutes.
Hi! Whatsapp is using me.
Hey, are you reading my status again?
Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
Hey you yeah I’m talking to you why the hell are you reading my status?
Hey you, yes you. The only one reading this. Want to know a secret? You and beautiful. Never give up.
If you’re reading this, I’m sure you have nothing to do with your life.
Funny Phrases for Status on Social Media
Take this opportunity to post several funny phrases on your status on social media and entertain your friends and followers.
So you are checking my status.
My “last seen on” was just to check your “last seen on”.
Say it to my face, not through your status.
Stop checking my status better if you have your own.
WAIT! You have an appointment to see my status.
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Not always available. Try your luck.
Happiness is when “last seen in” changes to “online” and then to “typing”
Low battery, disturb later.
It may seem like I’m not doing anything, but in my mind I’m very busy.
Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
Fun Phrases to Post in Statuses
use these fun phrases to get laughs from your friends and followers on your status every day.
As soon as they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.
Life gives obstacles, but I’m an athlete. So it’s fun.
Life has taught me many lessons, but I also ended those lessons.
I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
I made a huge to-do list today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do this.
When one door closes, another door must be opened, but if it doesn’t, enter through the window.
If plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.
Sometimes life gives you a second chance because maybe the first time you weren’t ready.
Always give 100% unless you are donating blood.
I was reminded that my blood type is BE POSITIVE!
Fun Phrases to Post in Statuses
check out more funny and fun phrases to post in your statuses. Make your social networks livelier and gain more followers and friends.
I have type O positive blood, which I remember for remaining ‘positive optimist’.
I was born to be pessimistic. My blood type is B negative.
It’s not the mirror’s fault if you don’t like your reflection.
I’m just a mirror for you, You’re good, I’m the best, You’re bad, I’m the worst.
I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me because I’m busy loving the people who love me.
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Come live in my heart and don’t pay rent.
Dear stress let’s break up.
I wish I had a delete button in my life. To erase some people, some memories and some feelings.
I would like to apologize to someone I have NOT offended. Please patient, I will get in touch with you soon.
Having a child makes you a parent; By having two, you are an arbitrator.
Fun Phrases for Facebook Status
use these fun Facebook status phrases and make the day of your friends and followers more smiling.
Has anyone noticed that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDYING and DIE?
I am physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
Physically Mentally Emotionally TIRED.
Life: Other than gravity, nothing keeps me down.
Wait until the movie starts eating its popcorn, the hardest thing in the world.
Every time I take a picture I get hungry because I hear ‘cheese’ so I start thinking about a good cheese sandwich.
My hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
Never judge the book by its movie.
It’s always the wrong person who teaches you the right things in life.
I know who I am, you don’t need to explain.
I’m a sweet lil girl, but if you drive me crazy, remember I always have a pocket full of crazy people waiting to go out!!
Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it’ll all be over.
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did you like the funny phrases to post in your statuses? So don’t waste any more time and share with your friends and family.
Cláudio Bernardo has a degree in technology, a web writer and a passion for history fiction books. In his spare time he enjoys studying and writing articles about general knowledge and playing classical guitar.
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